Kinda forgot about this thing.
I wish I could have something positive to write about on my first post back, too…
It’s been nearly a year since my last post & I still don’t have any good news of any kind to write about.
Still single. Still at Cold Stone. Still stuck in the fucking Twin Ports.
I tell ya what, this place is an actual dead end. Don’t ever come here unless you’re planning to retire. This place sucks.
I have some ideas about what I want to do with my life, but there’s so many things that prevent me from doing anything about it. Like, I have this thing I’d like to create which I think would revolutionize how people drive and interact with obstacles in their cars. But it’s a big project. Don’t know how I’ll ever get around to starting it up.
My life in a nutshell: A deadend.
The picture of me on a horse is here to lighten the mood of this depressing-ass post (:
Remember those times when I say I’m going to post more?
Because it’s healthy and, well, I have this blog that isn’t being used an’ shit.
Yeah, I remember those times too. Hahahaha.
But whatever. I’ve been so stressed lately that I kinda don’t want to write about it.
If I were to start, I wouldn’t stop. I could go on & onnnn.
Like, starting with an asshole I work with. Gahh, I hate him.
I’ve just gotta wait it out, though. Karma will bite him in his ass.
Even though I want it to be really, really soon.
Other than that, work rocks & school blows.
I promise I won’t drop out. I don’t want to be a lifer.
And lately, I’ve been staying up until 3 or 4 in the morning.
Fucking sucks, to be honest. I need to work on getting back into an appropriate sleeping pattern.
BUT I JUST WANNA LISTEN TO MY MUSIC, MAAAA.
that’s it for now.
I’m not gonna make a promise that I’ll post soon though.
I seem to fuck it all up after that.
I just had a post typed out- & then closed the tab.
I wish the world could be invaded by aliens.
Or have a robot uprising.
Or suffer from a zombie apocalypse.
Because I’m bored.
And the only cure is some life-at-risk, survival type drama bullshit.
I swear I’m sober right now.
But what does it matter when I don’t have you here?
I’m having a party at my house this Saturday.
& I plan to get drunk as fuuuucckkk.
Hopefully I forget about you in the process.
Or the liquor will have an opposite effect and all I’ll want is you.
It’s a risk I’m willing to take.
What’s wrong with me lately? Why is my mind all over the place? I just want my thoughts to make sense. To be put back together and I can think clearly again. I used to have ideas about how I would reach my goals and make my dreams a reality, but I’ve lost the ability to connect my wants to actions.
I’m broken. Return me. Fix me. Can I even return to normalcy?
I can’t put up this front anymore. Everyday the barrier I put between myself and the world becomes thinner. Weaker. I no longer enjoy the things that used to be an escape for me.
Colors are losing their glamour. Dark, muted shades are more appealing now. Not that it matters anymore. Everything is turning black & white.
I’m not looking forward to anything anymore.
Envious of the past, annoyed of the future. Stuck in the present.